December.....Again

Most people know by now, but we're having another baby!  I can't begin to express how excited we are, and especially shocked!  The first 3 times took between 13-18 months to get pregnant, and after my miscarriage I was pregnant in less than 6 months.  At the beginning of the year I decided that this was a year of fulfilling our dreams.  We have already been able to do several things to make that happen, and in my mind I figured we would end the year by getting pregnant again.  I never in a million years expected it to happen so fast, especially since we decided not to try any fertility treatments yet.  So instead of ending the year getting pregnant, we'll be ending it by welcoming a new one into our family.  You know how there's that "secret" out there that whatever you put out into the universe you will receive, or however it goes.  I know the real secret: prayer and fasting.  Where would I be in my life without it?  It has taken a lot for me to feel more at peace with my miscarriage.  I was supposed to be having that baby this week, but I really feel that everything that was supposed to happen, happened in the way that it should.  I think a little piece of my heart will always be up in heaven, waiting for me, but I also have felt a comforting hand, helping me along.

We found out 5 days before our cruise I was pregnant.  I started panicking, called the doctor that day and was in for an appointment that afternoon.  She assured me things would be fine.  I had a blessing, and I knew it would be ok, so we went without any problems.  Luckily my morning sickness didn't hit until after we got back, so I was able to enjoy myself.  By my 6 week mark I had 3 ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat, to set my mind at ease that everything was progressing as it should.  And when they told me my due date was Christmas Day, that for me was another sign that this was meant to be.  Both Jayden and Sidney were due in December, and to top it off, all three were due on Tuesdays.  And even though I thought another December baby was the last thing I wanted, it's actually really comforting, and really not that surprising. 

I have been really sick again, and if it's like the last 2, it will last until 20 weeks.  Pretty much nothing works, not even saltine crackers.  Ice cream has been my one saving grace, I'm sure I'll gain a hundred pounds.  I am an expert on puking, ask me anything.  I used to be reluctant to even have another baby because I get so sick, but I survived before, I can do it again.  And it's not true what they say-- that you forget how bad it is.  I don't think anything could ever erase my memory.  It's nice to finally have Jayden home to help play with Sidney.  They are both so excited.  We told them on Mother's Day while we were playing charades.  It was a fun way to tell them.  Of course Jayden wants a boy and Sidney wants a girl, but she keeps saying it's a brother.  We'll see.